Late Show's Quar-mantic Valentine's Day Tips

Birt 12 feb 2021
Valentine's Day is coming up but the pandemic is making it dangerous to celebrate with your loved ones. Don't worry, we are here to help you keep the romance alive with A Late Show's "Quar-mantic Valentine's Day Tips!" #Colbert #ValentinesDay #Valentines
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The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the premier late night talk show on CBS, airing at 11:35pm EST, streaming online via CBS All Access, and delivered to the International Space Station on a USB drive taped to a weather balloon. Every night, viewers can expect: Comedy, humor, funny moments, witty interviews, celebrities, famous people, movie stars, bits, humorous celebrities doing bits, funny celebs, big group photos of every star from Hollywood, even the reclusive ones, plus also jokes.

Ummæli

  • HS... I Missed It💓. Happy Belated🎉VDay! Evie You 😍.

  • By this logic, I've saved so many first responders lives this pandemic.

  • Strangely unfunny.

  • Well some of your US citizen sweethearts are abroad and it's been 1 year since they've been able to see their loved ones... How's that for Valentine's day... I'm growing a mental distress with these travel bans.. how is it we don't have exemptions yet when celebrities or floridians can party maskless...

  • I have to say I didn't find this funny and it made me sad.

  • Ca I buy crotchless sweat pants or are they a DIY project?

  • Total süß

  • Damn, when I see valentines day and chocolate, I am reminded by those legendary sentence uttered by the purveyor of gender equality, Kazuma; "Give me choco."

  • Wow..what the heck

  • Lol

  • This made me lol 🤣

  • django xDD

  • Watch : tinyurl.com/flirtyj0ynicepussy11 LOVE ME, Please!!! 💕 みゃあこさん!ฅ( ̳• ·̫ • ̳ฅ)ニャン DISEN QUE DIOS ES MA LO SI DIOS ES MALO NADIE ES BUENO ASERE MIL GRASIAS POR TANTA BEYESAS I loro stati di salute rispettivi prevenirli TANTA BEYEZAS QUE DIOS A HECHO EN ESTE MUNDO ASERE Y ライブ配信の再編ありがとうです!この日のライブ配信は、かならりやばかったですね!1万人を超える人が見ていたもんね(笑)やっぱり人参最高!まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした!今後は気を付けないとね51x1

  • Illinois DOH: *"Even if you died of a CLEAR ALTERNATE CAUSE, it's still listed as a COVID death"* - (Video: "Dr. Ngozi Ezike | How COVID Deaths are Classified")

  • Wat da fok did I just watch?

  • Ugh hello, hello, I didn't see if the guy in the thumb nail used a boat.

  • Say goodbye to the Gop and witness the beginning of the Don. (As in donald)

  • The sweatpants had me crying! That's how all of mine end up anyway!

  • I wish I had a house plant to call my own :'(

  • Hey i did the same with the funny eyes, lol 😘

  • "This one's for you first responders!.." 😩 … 🥴👍

  • Senate.gov for your Senator's contact info. Why can't the USA help its citizens like other countries have! $2000/person/month till the end of the pandemic. PLUS, it needs to be retroactive from March 2020 to pay back rent, bills & mortgages. Come on people call your Senator's & tell them you want/need this help. I'm sure small businesses & restaurants would appreciate some revenue from people spending money on the economy too, right! Pick up your cell phones and let your voices be heard.

  • Senate.gov for your Senator's contact info. Why can't the USA help its citizens like other countries have! $2000/person/month till the end of the pandemic. PLUS, it needs to be retroactive from March 2020 to pay back rent, bills & mortgages. Come on people call your Senator's & tell them you want/need this help. I'm sure small businesses & restaurants would appreciate some revenue from people spending money on the economy too, right! Pick up your cell phones and let your voices be heard.

  • "This one's for _you,_ first responders." 😏 Indeed. They might be in the video.

  • As a first responder, I'm both pleased and somewhat disgusted. Lol thanks for keeping us safe and no thanks for the visual 😂

  • 💡OH, AND I KNOW I HAD YOU GOING with that whole MY SON/SUN thing...I HAVE NO SON😁 it's just ALL ME and only me===2021🕎🔯, the final nail in your coffin and end of all your lies⚰🔨🔒 🧻you are forgiven🚽and forgotten.

  • Django Gold needs to call me. I will gladly treat him to dinner and dessert this weekend 🧁🧁🧁

  • WOW! These are great tips! Especially the erotic sweat pants!

  • I don't even have a plant. :(

    • You should adopt one.. then your relationship can be even more weird.

  • "slap some googly eyes on a plant, but take things slow, he's still getting over his divorce" XD

  • The official recommendation from the Michigan dept. of health is distance with a glory hole.

    • It's the same in Canada. Plus we recommend insulated crotchless sweatpants and a winter coat long enough to cover the crotch area.

  • Roses are red, Wear PPE Please stay six feet from me.

  • Love this

  • as a first responder... please... no

  • 😂🤣😂🤣🤣 too bad i don't have candles at home and is too cold to buy some amd besides i will be lazy.My plants seem to a being commited to each other!!! 😅😂🤣😂

  • To everybody in the forum...Happy Valentines Day.

  • It's MGTOW day.

  • But she's only just met this plant!

  • 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼😂😂😂😂

  • "..this one for you, first responders!!.." 👍👍

  • There is no way that’s 6ft in the thumbnail - looks more like 10 at least

  • Hmm, how is this different than any normal non pandemic Valentine's Day?

  • Was the guy in the sweatpants wearing a jock strap?

  • I'm so happy to be single this year with my beautiful twin bed. Nothing worse than sleeping in a King size bed alone. Especially if someone is next to you.

  • Valentine's Day Tips: Plan, Plan, Plan! 😊

  • That cat was getting such good cuddles and then they stopped. Rude.

  • 🤣

  • happy belittling, corporate holiday❣

  • Yup...my life definitely hasn’t changed since covid started. Haha except now having to wear a panic inducing mask...bdsm was never my thing. Haha

  • The person having dinner with their plant is me during this pandemic.

  • Good to know someone paid that ransom.

  • I am the 69th comment. Just thought I'd give as much as I receive. Bye now! 😝😜

  • 😆😆😆😆

  • It even has the generic ukulele and glockenspiel background music. XD

  • All my house plants died :( alone again on valentines

    • Buy a plastic one for Valentine's Day. Or a blow-up doll. Or both!

  • @1:07 Geezuz cries. That caught me way off guard! LMAO

  • Is Evie doing the narration??

  • uhhhhhh what did I just watch?

  • Roses are red And so is your heart But how do we kiss When we're six feet apart?

  • She took, an itty bitty, I'm not going to ever eat pizza bite..

    • you were looking at her mouth? 😲

  • Clearly ya didn’t here about baseball dates- go to the park 6ft apart and play catch with each other. It’s great for those who have daddy issues, I’m looking at you Chad.

  • Thank you ! I’m Smiling...

  • So... the people in the thumbnail are 4 feet tall then?

  • Eh, wasn't the plant recently divorced, why is the plant back into the dating scene AND asking for marriage so quickly. I suspect this video is not meant to be taken seriously at all.

    • really soiled my immersion too

    • @Sam Glad we are on the same wave

    • @Don'tSpikeMyDrink I understood your joke. I was making my own by accepting your premise.

    • @Sam ... woosh?

    • Someone who rushes into marriage is quite likely to also be a divorcee. That's the most realistic. However, maybe a long engagement should be considered.

  • This is the most important post you will ever read. Every one of us has sinned against God. We’ve lied, we’ve stolen, we’ve sinned sexually, and we’ve taken His name in vain; which makes us liars, thieves, fornicators and blasphemers.. Yet this is only four of our many transgressions. The problem is, we can never ‘outweigh’ our sin with good deeds because God is perfect in Holiness, meaning his standard is beyond our reach. He is also perfect in Justice, meaning, he will bring EVERY sin to light. The punishment for our sin is death, and Hell; a place of Eternal Fire, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth. Fortunately God is also perfect in Love, so 2000 years ago, Jesus Christ left his throne in heaven and came to this earth. While here, he lived a perfectly righteous life, only to take the punishment that We deserved; Our sinless creator became Our sin, and endured a gruesome death on a cross for our sake. Right before he died, he said ‘it is finished’.. meaning, the debt for our sins has been paid in full. And on the third day, he defeated death and rose from the grave. So now, we can go free from the wrath of God’s judgement not by earning it, but rather, as a free gift of grace.. Except gifts can either be accepted or rejected. So this is what you must do in response; Humbly admit to God that you have sinned against him, and through gratitude in the sacrifice of his son, repent (turn away) from your old way of life. Then, confess with your mouth that Jesus Christ is Lord, your savior, and the ruler of your life from this moment forward (Romans 10:9). Do these things, and you will be saved. If you do so sincerely, God will grant you a new heart which no longer finds comfort in sin, and instead desires to obey his word. He will also grant you Eternal life in his presence; The greatest pleasure on earth doesn’t even come close to what God is preparing for believers in the afterlife. You’ve been informed; Now the choice is yours. What you do with this information will determine where you spend ETERNITY, meaning, this is the single most critical decision you will EVER make; And all of us here, whether believer or atheist, know deep down that every last word here is true. Jesus Christ awaits YOU this very moment. Don’t even think about sleeping tonight until you surrender your life to him, because your tomorrow isn’t guaranteed.. And as it is written (Hebrews 9 : 27) ; ‘It is appointed unto man ONCE to die, but after this, THE JUDGMENT’. All glory, honor and praise to Lord Jesus Christ.

  • Just the Tip

  • Ok, I really didn't expect those sweatpants! ROFL!!!

    • @El Ram Fine by me!

    • It wouldn't surprise me if they someday become the next revealing version of Yoga Pants. 😳

  • Lol 😅

  • 0:16 So they are each like 3ft tall?!

  • I'm all about those sweatpants.

  • every time I break out the crotchless sweat pants I get arrested

    • Are you putting them on backwards?!?!? 🤔

  • The Butterfly Effect ​👇🏻 Someone up North donates their crotchless sweat pants to a clothing drive and some homeless man down in Florida is seen rocking the look 🤪

  • What if your erotic crotchless sweatpants ARE you regular old sweatpants?

  • 1:48 "This ones for you first responders" 🤣

  • You had me at googly eyes

  • yowza! great job, ty lssc fam!!

  • I from Vetshzerny Urgant

  • Cool

  • I have never 'done' valentine's day... It's all rather amusing and silly, I reckon.

  • If you been in the house with your spouse, try spending the day APART instead. Then debut the crotchless sweats on the 15th 😘

  • Feb 14 2019 = Spent in the hospital thanks to a kidney stone. Feb 14 2020 = Spent in the hospital recovering from surgery. Feb 13 2021 = I have learned to be wary...

    • Still here! My brother got Covid though and was discharged on the 13th. The rest of us all got our tests results today (negative) so thankfully we survived another V-day... somehow.

    • Please update us

    • I sure hope Cupid doesn't have your appendix in his crosshairs.

    • I'm commenting so I can be notified after the weekend if you've kept this "tradition" alive.

    • @ErykaSoleil Thank you, it started off with a scare since my little brother got Covid only last week. Due to his asthma he needed to be hospitalized but he'd better now thank god. Got him cake to celebrate but he still can't taste anything. 😅

  • Thanks to Our Cartoon President, i just hear this as Hillary Clinton doing the voiceover.

  • 'Above all, remember: on *THIS* Valentine’s Day, there are _many_ ways to be a hero. Staying home alone to watch porn can save lives.' "This one’s for *YOU,* first responders!" As an emergency room nurse, I commend/appreciate this message! "Cheers!", responsible lonesome porn addicts! Just try & refrain from getting sexually intimate with household objects or appliances, necessitating a trip to A&E!

    • @Niecie this happens so much!!!😆

    • srsly!! i know a nurse who had to extract a cucumber because someone “fell in the garden”; the cucumber was PEELED. stick to ACTUAL sex toys, people!😂

    • Ah yes, can't have any more patients "falling" on inatimate objects 😉

    • @Lorna Ginette Harrison Let me know how it goes... ;-D

    • Not all heroes wear capes.

  • How did the Colbert Team know that I just washed my sheets!

    • They "accidentally" saw it during their drone date

  • New Duralex bedsheet sized pleasure planes. (snorkel gear required)

  • There might be a new market for Edible Sweatpants.

  • A little overly heterofascist there STEPHEN! 😈😈🌈🌈😈😈

  • I.......LOVE........ YOU !!!!!!!! Whoever you are🎁❤️🤎🛒💙🤍🧡💛

  • Come to think of it, it has been months since I've washed my sheets. LOL

  • Thank you for trying... Yup still a 55 year old disabled , intersexed , transgender woman with CPTSD

  • 😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • If you love her enough, stay six feet away and then throw the flowers and candy at her! If she loves you, she will understand!😄

    • @Nobody Knows That was good!

    • Ok yeah there's that

    • @MIDWID if she can throw a keg of beer I don't know if I want her kind of lovin', but I get what you mean.

    • If she loves you she'll throw you a keg of beer and a thick ribeye 😏

    • maybe she'll blow you a kiss in return, just don't inhale.

  • Let me guess... Another Django Gold "masterpiece"? It has his stench of failure all over it.

  • The parallel competition coincidentally twist because curler elderly admit across a aspiring ferryboat. flashy, striped turnip

    • @mary jones I've seen these elsewhere in the past few days. I think these are AI-generated comments on trending videos intended to make spambot accounts "look human" before they do something more suspicious somewhere else. I just mark them as spam and move on.

    • ?

  • Hahahaha that's better no gift more.

  • 😄 👍

  • 😂😂😂 loved it happy Vday!!!😘

  • First responders have to be pissed 😡..stuck at hospital due to he negligence of common sense maintaining quarantine, mask, social distancing, ect

  • Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!

    • Is useful I wish we have three valentines day every year

    • Yeah... Happy V. D. Penicillin can shots can be had at the free clinic...

  • Stephen Colbert valentines quarters